Old Red

Every now and again I check out the free stuff listed on Craigslist. I've actually gotten some pretty sweet stuff doing this and if nothing else, it helps the day pass by. I find it really interesting to see what crazy stuff people will try to give away and what words they use to describe. Like "funky couch" means "heinous, dirty, and probably has bodily fluids on it". Or "vintage", which means "old piece of crap that I doubt anyone even wants for free".



Today's Craigslist experience has been my favorite of all time. About a week ago I was browsing the free stuff in Nashville and found someone giving away a real, live horse for free. For reals. Today I was looking at the stuff in DC and came across a listing for a free horse. In DC? Where the heck is there any land to have a horse here??? And that's when I came across my favorite posting yet:

"Old red needs a new pasture. Eats nothing, real quiet, gets along well, does rear most of the time. Has had a few injuries but healed well. Comes with one can of touch up paint."

I might be the only person who finds this funny, but you're also talking to a gal that had a life-size cardboard cutout of Goldberg (as in Bill, the wrestler) in her college apartment. I really think that Old Red would be a great conversation starter at parties. And I could totally decorate him for each holiday. For Halloween he could be a witch and for Christmas I could just toss on a Santa hat and wrap him in lights. I have a fondness for Old Red and am actually sad I can't have him. He'll probably end up in the hands of some unappreciative frat that'll break his legs off. Can't you just imagine having Old Red in your house and sending your kids to him for time-out while saying "quit horsing around". Har har har.